(The title is a reference to LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It,” which is totally my guilty pleasure these days.)
I know I said blogging would be light, but I have to share this: I went to the gym today. This is the first time I’ve been to the gym since April. Between the foot injury, assorted illnesses, and some of the other issues I’ve been dealing with, I just couldn’t get there. Then, when I could go, I didn’t, because I was afraid. I’ve been fighting these feelings for almost a month now. I feel ashamed that I’ve gained some weight over the past few months and ashamed that I haven’t been to the gym. I felt like I’d completely undone all the hard work I did to get healthy, which also made me feel ashamed. I was really worried that I’d get to the gym and would be able to do very little of what I used to be able to do.
I’ve been trying to get out of that mental space, and today I broke through and went to the gym. It was great!!! People probably thought I was insane, because I was grinning like a maniac for a while when I first got on the elliptical. It just felt really good to use my body in that way again.I did 34 minutes of the elliptical, compared to the 40 I was doing last spring–not much of a drop-off at all. I did a 60 minute strength workout, and I didn’t have to reduce the weight I was lifting all that much. Well, I did with my arms, but that’s due to the tendonitis. My legs, back, and stomach changed very little, if at all–I was within 10 pounds of where I used to be. I’m shocked that I didn’t lose more of my strength, but apparently I haven’t.
I’m really happy that I had such a great workout. I have to remember this feeling to keep me motivated to start going regularly again. I’m blogging this in the hopes it will make me feel accountable, but I think it will get easier now that I have broken through that initial fear.