As you can see, I added the color to my hair. It actually turned out to be not as dramatic as I thought–it blends in with my natural color pretty well.
That’s probably because it’s more on the reddish side of violet than the purple side of violet, and my hair has always had a bit of a reddish cast to it.It’s only when the light is really shining on it–as in this picture–that the new color is apparent.
I really, really like it. Glad I did this before the Cs and before the end of the semester.
It seems that all I do anymore is blog about clothes, but here I go again.
The weight loss is evidencing itself in ways that I didn’t necessarily think about. For example, my engagement/wedding ring is very loose now. I’d like to put off re-sizing it until I get to my final goal weight, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to because it is so loose.
Last week, on one of those awful, cold, windy days, I got out my long winter coat. The coat is HUGE on me now. Now, I have a shorter coat that I used to wear with pants, and I expected that to be big because of the size. It was a 22W, so of course that one is huge.
The long coat is nowhere near that size, thought, and I still cannot believe how big it was on me, however. I was swimming in it; G. thought I had put his coat on by accident at first. Just to give a sense of how big the coat was: G. is a foot taller than me. His coat is mammoth.
I did some poking around today at Target (online) and came across this coat:
I don’t want to invest a lot in a coat right now, since I’m still losing weight, and this one fit the bill: regularly $60, it was on sale for $35. That’s a great deal. I got free shipping, too, since I bought a few other things I needed (including a black scarf).
I hope I won’t be disappointed in it when it arrives.
***
On a more serious note, I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the truth of a marriage. What’s prompted these thoughts have been some revelations about other married couples I know–some surprising, some not. But it’s left me with a thought that has occurred to me many times: no one really knows the truth of any committed relationship except for the people in it (and sometimes even they don’t know).
It is very easy–and tempting–to look at a couple’s public behavior, and even semi-private behavior, and assume that what you see is what you get. I’ve been guilty of doing this myself; I think everyone has, at one time or another. I’ve known couples who seemed so well-matched, who had a great deal in common, and who seemed to work well together–yet they ended up divorced. I’ve known other couples who do not seem to enjoy each other’s company at all and who do not agree on parenting or much of anything else, yet they keep making it, year after year.
I think about my own parents, who have been married for almost 60 years. I truly have no idea what their marriage is like. I can tell you all the things that my dad does that drive my mom nuts, because I get an earful of it every time she calls me; I can also tell you how my dad reacts to all of that. However, I really don’t know much about their relationship as a couple or how it works. I don’t think children can ever really know that about their parents. We might have a sense of the general health of the relationship, though I think that usually only happens in families where the parents have pretty major issues.
There are things I have noticed as an adult, such as the way my dad puts his arm around my mom anytime they sit side-by-side on a couch or a bench or the way my mom will give my dad these quick, affectionate little pats on the leg if they’re sitting near each other. I never noticed this until I became an adult–a parent, actually–so either their relationship has changed as they’ve aged, or I’m more observant (or both). But what does this tell me about them? Not much.
Sometimes I think people see what they want to see. I know I’ve done this. I also know others who have thought a marriage was “perfect” when I and many others knew, for example, that the husband was an asshole (let me be clear: I’m writing about a relative). I think sometimes we look at our people’s relationships and see something about ourselves or our relationships in them, and we project our issues onto them. Sometimes this means we don’t see the signs of trouble; sometimes this means we take normal growing pains as a sign that divorce is imminent.
And sometimes, it is very difficult to figure out the truth of our own relationships. Can we ever know it? How do we negotiate the lies others tell us about our relationships? The lies we tell ourselves?
Now there’s a post–from the superficial to the depressing. There you have it, folks.
I ordered two pairs of shoes tonight. One was very practical–a new pair of Born clogs for work. The ones I currently have, which I’ve been wearing to work every day for over a year, are great, but they have become pretty loose. I guess it’s the weight loss, but my feet really slide around in these shoes if I wear tights with them. Thick socks solve the issue, but that is obviously not a solution for days when I wear a dress or a skirt. In response to this need, I ordered these:
That was my practical purchase. In a spontaneous move, I also ordered these extremely impractical boots:
Yes, they are over the knee boots. They’ll either look really cute with my leggings and skirts, or I’ll be channeling Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman:
Let’s hope it’s not the latter.
My style superheroes
Jackie recently responded to the ProfHacker post on wardrobe essentials for women in the humanities. I enjoyed reading these posts and thought I would respond with a list of my own. So, without further ado, here are my five workplace fashion essentials, with some seasonal distinctions:
1. Born clogs. I wear my Born clogs (similar to these) almost every single day, whether I’m at work or not–I’m wearing them right now, actually. The only times I don’t wear them is when the weather is warm and requires sandals, or when the weather is snowy and requires boots.
I love Born shoes because my feet are extremely flat and prone to pain. These shoes, though not all that cute, don’t look awful and give me the support I need to be on my feet for hours at a time without being uncomfortable.
2. Foundations. I realize this is not exactly not polite conversation, but let’s be honest: if women aren’t wearing properly fitting undergarments, our clothing will be unflattering and possibly uncomfortable.
I know I cracked some of y’all up this summer with my constant blogging about bras, but we can’t build a house–or a good outfit–without good support, people. If I’m wearing a dress, this includes a shaper.
3. An A-line skirt. I have worn this skirt for years in black, with other A-line skirts preceding it. Thanks to my weight loss, I bought this same skirt in a smaller size this year. I branched out and bought two skirts, one in black and one in gray. Not very adventurous, I know, but I’m a believer in the basics, especially when it comes to skirts and trousers (more on that in a minute).
4a. Wrap or faux-wrap style dresses (for early fall/late spring). A colleague recently remarked to me, “You wear a lot of wrap dresses, don’t you?” Yes, I do. The reason is quite simple: this style is extremely flattering to my body type. I am of the philosophy that if ain’t broke, don’t fix it, so I always go back to this style.
Some of the dresses actually are true wrap-style dresses, while others just look like it. I tend to be more adventurous with my color and pattern choices when it comes to dresses; I have the Lands’ End dress in blue, and a giraffe print is not exactly subtle.
4b. A sweater set (for late fall/winter). I love a nice sweater set, because it’s extremely versatile–the pieces can be together or separately; with skirts, jeans, or trousers; for work, church, or casual get-togethers; etc. I had these two pieces in red for a couple of years, but they became pretty worn last year. I will probably put this set on my Christmas list, this time in purple.
5. Black or gray trousers. I once had a student say to me–around midterm of fall semester– “I’ve never seen you wearing pants!” It’s true that when the weather is on the warm side, you will not catch me wearing trousers; I find skirts and dresses far more comfortable. Once the weather turns cold, however, that’s all a student will see me wearing.
I may wear a long skirt on occasion, but for the most part, it’s all trousers, all the time during the winter months. While winter in northeast Indiana certainly isn’t Minnesota or the UP, it’s still flat, cold, and windy. In such a climate, trousers are more comfortable. Once again, I stick with black or gray, since they are versatile and flattering.
So, those are my wardrobe basics. I like how I dress for work and feel confident about my choices; casual clothing, however, leaves something to be desired. I need to re-learn that skill, especially given how my body has changed over the past year.
I’ve been doing lots of back to school shopping lately–not for M, but for myself.
I feel a little guilty in some ways, because it seems indulgent to spend this money. However, these clothes are necessary. I’ve lost 42 pounds now, so unsurprisingly, clothes I wore last fall are far too big for me now. Thus, I need more clothes.
I bought this dress a couple of weeks ago. I love it! I’m not into animal prints as a rule, but I really love this dress. It’s extremely comfortable and flattering. I think it’s my favorite thing of all the new clothes I’ve had to buy this spring and summer.
Today I bought a few things at Kohl’s. I’ve been looking for a khaki skirt for about six weeks now, and today I finally found one! Even better, it was only eight bucks, thanks to a sale and a coupon. I also bought this dress (in purple) and some undergarments. Given the amount of weight I’ve lost, it has really changed my dimensions everywhere, so it’s not just clothes that I need–I need the foundational pieces, too. Kohl’s is a great place for that stuff, because I don’t want to invest a lot of money since I am still losing weight.
I have been enjoying this shopping, which is significant. Shopping has not been much fun for me for several years. I haven’t felt good about how I’ve looked, which made trying on clothes unpleasant, and since I was in plus sizes, the selection was pretty crappy. Now that I wear regular sizes, the clothes are much cuter and more available.
Maybe I’m superficial, but it’s nice to have fun again when trying on clothes. It’s even better that shopping is so much easier now.
I have been doing some back-to-school shopping tonight, both for M and myself. We had an extra 30% coupon at Kohl’s, so I scored a good deal on some gym shoes for her there. That is what she wears to school every day, so I like to get a brand that I know will hold up well and fit her narrow feet, such as Stride Rite or Nike. Mission accomplished, as I bought a pair of Nikes for under $25.
After we returned home, I had a new Lands’ End promo code waiting for me: an extra 10% off overstocks, with free shipping if you spend $50 or more (if you want the code, leave a comment). I need some new clothes, given the weight loss, so I looked around and scored some good deals. I got short and long-sleeved t-shirts (in black and white) for $5, a cardigan (in red) for $30, and this dress for $30.
I love the dress. I would have preferred the fuchsia, which was sold out, but I do really like the blue as well. I have been wearing black when it comes to dresses for so long; it is my favorite color and looks good on me, but I think that as I gained weight, I kind of hid behind black for fear of calling attention to myself. Now that I’m smaller, I’m not afraid to wear a bolder color.
The other thing that I like about the dress is that it’s a wrap style, so it will fit as I continue to lose weight. I’m not worried about the shirts or the sweater, as my top half isn’t going to get smaller than a size large; even when I was 40 pounds lighter than I am right now, I still wore a large.
Oh, I almost forgot: I bought a pair of gray pants for work at Kohl’s, too–less than $20, thanks to the sale and my coupon! They’re pretty much the same as these, except the buttons at the waist are different on mine. These pants are a little tight right now, but I won’t be wearing them until mid-September at the very earliest; they’ll fit fine by then. I’m glad I’m finding some nice, affordable clothes that will get me through the next stage of my weight loss.
When I am at my final goal weight, I’ll be willing to spend more money on clothes, especially my casual clothes; I think I usually look pretty nice for work, but I look like such a slob in the rest of my life. I want to change that. When I go home to Cincinnati or visit Columbus (or any other large city, for that matter), I feel so unfashionable. I see a big difference in the way people dress in those cities and the way people dress in Fort Wayne. My casual clothes are fine for FW, but I look like a bum if I go out to eat with family or friends in Ohio.
You wouldn’t think there would be that much of a difference, since all of these cities are in the Midwest and I’m not talking about a huge city like Chicago, where you would expect people to be more fashion-forward. But trust me, there is a big difference.
I’m looking forward to feeling good enough about myself to spend a little more money and look better in all aspects of my life, not just work.
